


An Idiot's Guide to Love

by StellaLux



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:44:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellaLux/pseuds/StellaLux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Ziall Oneshot in which Zayn is an idiot, a very jealous in love idiot.</p><p>But don’t worry, Niall will fix that.</p><p>Rated M for smut</p><p>I don’t own the boys, human ownership is bad! And just slightly illegal.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Idiot's Guide to Love

Zayn doesn’t quite understand how he never noticed their relationship before. 

“Their” being Josh and Niall, and “relationship” used as a loose term because Zayn still doesn’t quite know what the Irish blond and the brunette drummer have. But there is undeniably something there that Zayn has never seen between them before and he can’t quite bring himself to drag his dark eyes away from where the two other boys are standing so (intimately) close. 

Zayn himself is currently sitting at the circular booth that the rest of the boys are drinking at, Liam is directly across from him nearly nodding off despite the thumping loud music being pumped through the this-side-of-smallish room, but Zayn can hardly blame him. The booth is plush red leather and is almost unrelentingly comfortable. Louis and Harry are beside him playing some drinking game that Zayn doesn’t know the rules of that Lou probably just made up on the spot and the Bradford boy knows that he and Liam will most likely be dragging them both back to the hotel judging by their already glazed eyes and raucous laughter.

It had been Louis’ idea to go to a club tonight, unwind after a vicious few weeks of non-stop work and touring, and at the time they had all been in full compliance.

But something about the way that Niall was interacting with Josh in this club, so far away from the bus and the stage and the fans and the cameras, made Zayn think that maybe it would have been better to not go out at all.  
Zayn barely reacted when Harry starts flailing beside him in laughter due to a horrible joke that made absolutely no sense from Louis, his attention far too captivated at the moment. 

The two boys had been sent for more drinks about five minutes ago but now they seemed more genuinely interested in standing by the bar instead of actually returning with the drinks that were resting on top of it. Niall was leaning lightly against the large wooden countertop, hands moving wildly which indicated to Zayn that he was probably telling a story. Nothing really out of the ordinary with Niall, but the hand that belonged to Josh that rested lightly on Niall’s hip certainly wasn’t normal. 

Zayn prided himself on knowing nearly everything about his blond haired band mate and best friend. He knew exactly how Niall liked to take his tea and coffee, he knew exactly when the blond was feeling homesick, and he knew exactly when Niall needed a good cuddle on a bad day. Zayn could tell you nearly everything there was to know about Niall, or so he had thought.   
Because as Josh leaned down to say something directly into Irish boy’s ear, Niall’s hands stopping their crazy movements to rest lightly on the drummer’s shoulders, small smirk stretching slowly over across his lips, Zayn wonders if he really knows Niall at all.

Zayn swallows down an unknown (kind of known) negative feeling that’s beginning to settle and expand in his stomach and cuts his eyes to Liam.

“Since when were Niall and Josh so… close?” Zayn tries to word the question like he isn’t too interested, probably more for his sake than Liam’s. The other boy knows all too well that Zayn fancies himself a sort of Niall expert.  
Liam stares at him sleepily before reluctantly sighing and turning in his seat to look at where ever Zayn is gesturing to. Zayn feels a little reassured when Liam’s eyes widen a little, cluing Zayn into the fact that even Liam didn’t know about this.

“I don’t know… I knew they were friends but, they do seem, well er, close?” Liam stumbles over his words a little, settling on “close” as the word to describe the blatant flirtation going on between Niall and their drummer just as Zayn had because they knew nothing.

Zayn is a little surprised when Harry throws a long lanky arm around his shoulder while giggling loudly as he had been mostly tuning the two drunken boys out.

“I know why Ni and Josh look soooooooo couply!” Harry slurs out in between giggles and Zayn doesn’t know whether or not Harry is being serious or just drunkenly talking nonsense like he normally does. But his curiosity is piqued. He knows that Niall and Harry are very close, being the youngest two of the band and both of them having been single in that stretch of a year before Liam and Zayn had both broken up with their respective girlfriends. So Harry might very well know what’s going on.

Louis obviously doesn’t care whether it’s going to be true or not, he wants to know what Harry is going to say, so he pokes the green-eyed boy continuously in the side, “Tell us why Haz! Impart your knowledge upon us oh curly one!”

Harry giggles again and then leans into the center of the table conspiratorially, “They… are…. FRIENDS!”

Louis laughs loudly for no reason and Zayn just rolls his eyes and shrugs the Cheshire lad off of him and onto Louis.

“We know that Harry, we’re all friends, good job.”

Harry is suddenly not giggling, his face taking on a look of comical seriousness as he shakes his head emphatically, curls flying everywhere. He makes himself comfortable against Louis, head resting back on his shoulder before speaking petulantly again with a pout, “You didn’t let me finish.”

Liam shares an exasperated look with Zayn before he reaches over to pat Harry’s arm, “We’re very sorry Harry, please continue with what you were going to say.”

Harry nods in agreement before stating brightly, “They’re friends, who hook up.”

Louis is immediately attacking Harry with more questions while Liam is looking at the two of them with his scandalized expression painted on his face but Zayn isn’t so sure he believes what Harry has just revealed.

When Harry gets drunk it’s always difficult to discern if what he’s saying is true or not, everything out of his mouth is about ninety percent nonsense and ten percent secret truths. But when Zayn goes back to his staring, the two boys at the bar have somehow gotten closer, both of Josh’s hands are gripping Niall’s hips and when he pulls back to grab some of the drinks from the bar top Zayn can see a blush spread across Niall’s cheek from his spot at the booth.

He’s not quite sure why he doesn’t like that Harry might be telling the truth.  
~  
Two weeks later, they’re in France. They’re dead tired again but France is one of Niall’s favorite places so he’s bouncing around excitedly, talking a mile a minute, blue eyes shining brightly as he drags Zayn around the venue earlier in the morning than really should be legal. Zayn kind of feels like collapsing, falling asleep on the floor and not getting up until someone peels him off, but he can’t say no to Niall. Not ever, and especially not when he’s all bright and shiny like he is now. 

So he happily lets Niall steer him through the building with a small, pale hand in his own and lets the blonde’s aimless chatter wash over him, small smile curling his lips as he watches Niall fondly.

In the two weeks since the club, Niall and Josh seem to have gone back to their previous friendly relationship without being too friendly. They act so completely normal that Zayn thinks that maybe it was just mindless dribble that Harry was spouting that night. There’s nothing in their behavior that would indicate that there was anything more between them and Zayn has progressively relaxed every day that Josh has stayed away from Niall.

Or so he thinks until later that day.

Zayn and the rest of the lads had gone to get lunch before heading to sound check but Niall and Josh decided to stay behind. Really, Zayn should have suspected something by that alone, considering how he knew that Niall almost never said no to food. Liam even worriedly felt the blonde’s forehead for a temperature while Louis gave Niall a strange look. Harry was giving Niall a cheeky grin and that should have been tip number two for Zayn but for one reason or another he just shrugs and ruffles the blonde’s hair. 

So he left with the rest of the guys, leaving his phone sitting on the breakfast table, and went to a fast food joint within walking distance and ate quickly. He finished long before anyone else, so he decided to walk back and see if Niall wanted anything to be brought back to him now. He may not have wanted to go out, but he knew Niall would never, ever say no to food being brought to him.

He opened the door to the bus and walked in quietly, but he stopped when he heard a low moan. What he saw when he looked toward the back lounge was not even on his top ten list of expectations and the sight had him freezing up in a way Zayn had never really experienced.   
Niall wasn’t excitedly telling a story that Josh had probably heard a few times before, Josh wasn’t teaching Niall how to play the drums to the latest song he had learned, and Niall wasn’t teaching Josh the latest guitar melody that he wrote.

No, instead, Zayn saw Niall straddling the drummer‘s lap, his shirt off, slender, pale back arched with his hands clenching Josh’s shoulders tightly. The older brunette had his mouth firmly fixed on Niall’s neck, having ample room when the young singer threw his head back with another moan. Josh had his left hand clamped on Niall’s hip and the other down the back of Niall’s jeans. It took a few seconds before Zayn actually realized that Josh was fingering Niall, and that was why the blonde haired Irish boy was moaning. 

Zayn startled when Niall cried out particularly loudly and quickly stepped out of the bus and power walked back to the rest of the lads, image firmly planted in his head.

Over the course of the next few days he found that he was unable to rid himself of that image of his fellow blond band member. It played on a loop whenever he closed his eyes at night or looked at Niall during the day, like it was burned onto the inside of his eyelids. And not just that image but others until Zayn was full on fantasizing about all of the things he wanted to do to Niall. Every detail was thought out, how Niall would look on his back with Zayn between his legs or how he would look on his hands and knees in front of him, how he would sound if Zayn pressed his fingertips into the bare skin of his hips, how he would react if Zayn just gave in to his impulses and kissed Niall when the younger boy pouted.

He also began to be annoyed by anything and everything related to Josh. He had never had an issue with the drummer before but now every time he came around or when Niall went back to mess with him on stage he grated on Zayn’s nerves. Every time Josh gave Niall a friendly touch, or more often than not a more than friendly touch, Zayn’s jaw would lock and he would glare at everything around him.

But it evolved even further, until it wasn’t purely sexual. Yeah that was still a big part of it, still tormented him nearly every waking and dreaming hour. But Zayn would catch himself just staring at the younger boy, really looking at everything he had never noticed before. Like the way Niall’s eyes crinkled when he was truly smiling, how his waist dipped in a gentle curve and how he twirled a piece of hair around his finger absently when he was watching TV or thinking deeply. He would run his eyes over every feature, curve and angle the younger boy possessed until he wanted so badly to wrap his arms around him and just be. Not fuck, like in a cheesy porno. Just put his arms around Niall’s slender waist and lay with him just because he could. He found himself wanting to hold the younger boys hand when they were just standing side by side or sitting on the couch, wanting to hold him while he slept just to feel him breathing, wanting to make him happy just to see him smile. 

It gets so bad that Zayn can barely stand to look at Niall and he hates that. He’s so confused and the more he thinks about it, the more confused he becomes until his thoughts are tangled up in a ball that somehow settles in his stomach to make him physically ill. 

Apparently his internal struggle is building up inside him to the point where he can’t help but talk about it to someone because he’s sitting on the couch with Harry while the other boys are sleeping, watching some stupid movie, when he blurts out something sort of incomprehensible about feelings and Niall.

It’s almost a relief, to say something out loud, but it’s to the wrong person and Harry is looking at him in a completely unimpressed manner, hand coming up to sweep across his curly fringe out of reflex.

“So…. You have some feelings for Niall?” Harry is speaking slower than his usually already slow drawl and Zayn feel sort of like he’s missing something big here that Harry already knows and he doesn’t like feeling like a dumbass.

“Yeah, yeah, I suppose so. I just, it’s like he’s always there right? In my head and he won’t go away and I want to do all the things I did with Perrie with him and more and I just don’t get it.”

Harry just raises an eyebrow at him, leaning forward to balance his elbows on knobby knees and speaks again, “Zayn, you’re in love with Niall.”

Zayn can automatically feel his eyes widening because, no, he was so not in love with his best friend, because that’s what happens in crappy romance dramas and Harry is so wrong about this and Zayn makes sure to tell him.

But Harry just sighs at his friend’s stubbornness before reaching for his laptop and scooting closer to the Bradford boy. He pulls up clip after clip of moments where Zayn touches Niall differently from the rest of boys, ‘I’m pretty sure you’ve never grabbed my waist like that Zayn’, and interview after interview where Zayn says complimentary or protective things in regards to Niall, ‘You never wax poetic about Louis’ eyes Zayn’, and he shows Zayn every single completely adoring gaze that Zayn apparently quite frequently bestows upon Niall, ‘You never looked at Perrie that way Zayn.’

The last one is said very seriously and Zayn leans back against the couch with a groan because yeah, he’s fucked. 

~

Niall was deliberately trying to drive him crazy.

This was an absolute fact. Zayn knows it, knows that the younger singer was just sitting awake night after night in his bunk thinking about ways to push him even closer to his breaking point. Maybe Harry was even helping!

It had been a few days since Zayn’s revelation concerning his feelings for Niall and the older boy had taken to avoiding the younger blond singer as much as he possibly could, which considering they lived on a bus and spent nearly twenty-four hours a day, every day together, wasn‘t a whole hell of a lot. 

But it seemed that the more he avoided the younger boy the more two important things started happening. 

First, Zayn is pretty much hyper aware of everything Niall does. And it would only makes sense because Zayn doesn’t see Niall as often as he did, or at least, didn’t make eye contact with him as often as he normally did, so when he was in the position to watch Niall without him knowing, he would notice everything

And if Niall bends over on stage one more fucking time or does one more damn split in midair Zayn doesn’t think he should be held responsible for his actions. The boy is damn flexible.

Second, the more he ignores him, the more Niall seems to want his attention. And really, that’s not surprising either. Niall is something of an attention whore when it comes to Zayn’s time and it really is something that Zayn should have considered when he decided to ignore him. 

Take right now for instance.

“Zaaaaaayn! Come get coffee with me!” Niall is shaking Zayn’s left arm lightly as he whines and Zayn averts his amber eyes away from the younger boy beautiful blue ones, it‘s the best he can do in his plan to ignore Niall, avoid eye contact.

“I’m reading Niall, get Harry to go with you.”

Niall pouts and sits next to where Zayn is seated on the couch and there’s this little voice in Zayn’s head that gently reminds him that this is the same couch that Niall and Josh fooled around (maybe did a little more than fool around but Zayn doesn’t like to think about that) on two and a half weeks ago.

Thanks, like he needed the reminder.

“Harry is napping, or masturbating, either way he’s in his bunk and I don’t want to risk bothering him. Besides,” He says softly, laying his head on Zayn’s shoulder, “I want you to go with me.”

Zayn looks up and pleads to Allah and whatever other gods that exist to just give him a break because really, that was adorable and Zayn just really wants to wrap his arm around Niall and kiss his forehead and give in to whatever Niall want from him or something as equally sickly sweet like he would have just a few weeks ago before all of this happened. But he can’t do that now, not when he knows that it would mean much more to him that it should.

“What about Liam or Louis?”

Niall lets out a frustrated sigh, “Louis is with Eleanor and Liam is at the free gym down the street with Andy.”

“Well what abo-”

Niall pulls away sharply and looks at Zayn with a rather piercing glare considering the fact that Niall is about the least threatening of any of them, “Look, if you don’t want to go with me, just say it.”

Zayn sighs because now he’s upset Niall and that isn’t what he wanted at all, it’s the last thing he wants to do actually, “Niall-”

There‘s a light knock on the bus door before it opens and Josh pops his head in, “Hey Ni! You wanna go to Starbuck‘s?” 

Niall frowns and sends Zayn another indistinguishable look that surprises Zayn again, because Niall is usually so easy for him to read, before he shakes his head and gets up to leave with Josh.

Once they’re gone Zayn releases a loud breath and leans his head back onto the couch. 

Well that just sucked, all Zayn had wanted was to get away from Niall’s scrutiny before he did something stupid, not for the younger boy to get frustrated with him and go off with Josh fucking Devine. 

He was really beginning to dislike their drummer.

~

Fuck disliking Josh, Zayn despised the short Bournemouth prick. 

Zayn sat at the bar; shooting back shots whenever he decided to take a break from attempting to kill Josh with his glare.

The drummer had his arms wrapped around Niall’s waist from behind, Niall’s arms up around Josh’s neck as they danced to whatever sleazy club song was playing at the moment. 

Josh dipped his head down; his lips skimming the side of Niall’s neck making the younger boy bite his bottom lip softly. Josh smiled and moved so his mouth was next to Niall’s right ear, whispering something and moving his hands to grip the slightly taller but much slimmer boy’s hips and pull him back so they were fully touching back to chest.

The worst part was that it was pretty much his fault that Niall was dancing with Josh in the first place. After all, Niall had asked Zayn to dance almost as soon as they walked into the club and he had declined, only for Josh fucking Devine to show up and whisk the blond off to the dance floor where they’ve been ever since.

Zayn grimaced and took another shot of whatever the hell it was he kept ordering, barely aware of the girls at the other end of the part not-so-discreetly checking him out or even Louis taking the seat right next to him.

“You’re an idiot.”

Zayn turns in his seat and finds Louis looking at him with a rare serious expression on his face. It doesn’t suit the young Doncaster lad at all.

“And why am I an idiot Lou?” Zayn asks, fingers drumming out some random rhythm onto the wooden bar top. 

Louis jerks his head in Niall’s direction, “He asked you to dance when we got here, you say no and then spend the rest of the night moping and trying to set Josh on fire using your non-existent mind powers. You’re an idiot.”

“I’ve got nothing against Devine.” Zayn says defensively, totally dismissing the first part of Louis’ sentence.

“Psh, yeah. That’s why you always look about half a second away from beating him into the ground.” Louis scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever.” And yeah, maybe it’s not the most eloquent thing Zayn could have said in his defense, but he’s buzzed, mad, frustrated and just generally not in a good mood.

So he turns away from Louis, eyes zeroing in on Niall automatically and the singer has turned around since the last time Zayn saw him, arms still around Devine’s neck only Josh’s hands were currently traveling down the younger singer’s back until he was cupping his ass and Zayn tenses instinctively, fists clenching and jaw locking from an ugly combination of anger and jealousy.

He feels a flick to his shoulder and turn back around abruptly to see Louis smirking, one eyebrow raised and shaking his head.

“Case and point. Do us all a favor Malik, stop being such a pussy and make a fucking move already.” 

~

So Zayn isn’t too happy that someone else knows about his feeling for Niall and his antipathy toward Josh. And what’s worse is that it was Louis, Louis was so oblivious to things it was almost laughable but then again, despite his oblivious, incessantly cheerful demeanor, Louis is and always has been consistently aware of his boys and how they act, always looking out for his fellow band mates and vice versa.

But still, it was Louis.

Then there was also the implication that other people knew. Louis had said ‘do US all a favor’ and that sucked. Because if multiple people knew then it was only a matter of time before Niall found out. The people on this bus couldn’t keep a secret for shit and Zayn knew it. 

The smartest thing to do would be to take Louis’s advice and just tell Niall how he felt. Better he do it than someone else. After all, the worst Niall could do would be to say he didn’t feel the same way and as much as that would blow, it would be a hell of a lot better than just sitting there not knowing whether or not he has a shot and watching Niall fool around with other people. 

At least, that’s what Zayn tells himself while psyching himself up in his bunk on sleepless nights.

But Zayn doesn’t make a move.

He might be just a little scared. Might be. Because this is something that has happened really fast, in the span of three weeks he’s realized that he’s been in love with one of his best friends for as long as he can remember. 

And he’s in love; he has no doubt about that. He was in love with Perrie and what he feels for Niall way surpasses that. That’s part of what makes it so terrifying because love is terrifying. And maybe he’s a little intimidated. Because Niall; Niall is Niall. Niall was beautiful, and so fucking talented, and affectionate and warm and clever and interesting and so much more than any other person Zayn has ever met.

He takes his avoidance of Niall to a whole new level. Whenever the other boy walks into Zayn’s immediate area he automatically leaves, mumbling some vague explanation about work or having to talk to Paul about the security or to one of the other lads about something that just can’t wait. 

He ignores Louis rolling his eyes and telling him nearly every day to just come clean. He ignores the knowing looks thrown around by the rest of crew and he ignores the encouraging pep talks from Liam because when it comes right down to it, he’s about ninety-nine point nine percent sure that Niall doesn’t feel the same way, and him confessing his feelings would do nothing but ruin their friendship or at the very least make it awkward as hell. 

Zayn doesn’t want to be the pity friend, the friend that Niall looks at with patronizingly sad eyes because he can’t give Zayn what he wants.

After all, Niall can have anyone in the fucking world, and despite Zayn’s Bradford bad boy swagger, he lacked that kind of courage, and who knew what all Niall had going on with Josh and Zayn was boring and quiet, nothing special while Niall, Niall was everything and endlessly fascinating. 

And how can Zayn ever hope to deserve that?

~

Zayn storms into his house and slams the door shut. Normally the pale blue walls and familiar modern furniture of his home calms him down but it does absolutely nothing for him now.

He’s still furious and annoyed but under that he’s kind of freaking out because well, he’s really not the kind of guy who goes around swinging at his fellow band members but he just hadn’t been able to help himself.

Honestly, there was Josh Devine on the last day of their tour back home in London, after spending the entirety of their previous world tour fooling around with Niall every chance he got, sucking the face off of some nameless tramp in a sleazy bar that they all had gone to in order to celebrate. Zayn couldn’t just not punch him. It was like all of the anger and jealousy and insecurity that he had felt the entire tour had just come to a head in that singular moment in time and Zayn just snapped.

Zayn’s brain says that what he did was a stupid, immature, childish move that he only did because he couldn’t control his anger and his own jealousy, after all, he doesn’t know what Niall and Josh actually are anyways. But his heart says that no one on this Earth is allowed to treat Niall like some sort of on-call tramp to be used whenever it’s convenient, even unknowingly. No, because Niall deserves all the respect in the world and to be treated right. And to fuck him for almost nine months and then paw at the next piece of ass that walks by is not Zayn’s definition of “right”. 

But Zayn is brought out of his moral debacle by a loud knock at his door and it’s only then that he realizes he was pacing. He shakes his head and walks to his door, cursing himself for letting Josh fucking Devine get him so worked up.

He opens the door and there’s Niall. He’s standing with his arms folded over his chest and all of his weight centered on one leg so his hip is cocked in one direction and Zayn would laugh and mock him for the extremely girlish pose if not for the utterly pissed off look on the younger singer’s face.

He doesn’t even wait to be let in, just pushes the door open a bit more and storms right past Zayn into the foyer of his house before turning around sharply to look at the Bradford boy once more. 

“What the HELL is your problem Zayn?!” Niall demands, his voice in a low hissing whisper as if he’s trying with all he has in him to keep from screaming. It’s probably the most angry that Zayn has ever seen Niall while sober and he’s not going to lie, it is slightly intimidating.

Zayn rolls his eyes, a bit annoyed because he just punched their band’s drummer and was already fucking pissed and frustrated with himself, he doesn’t need an argument with Niall on top of everything.

He shut the door and says petulantly, “I don’t have a problem.”

That just seems to piss Niall off more, “Really? Because the last time I checked you didn’t go around decking people for absolutely no reason!”

“Is that the only reason you came over here? Because I punched Devine? Well mind your own damn business Niall, I don’t like the guy and I can do what I fucking want.” Zayn snarls, turning his back on the younger boy and walking into his kitchen. 

But apparently Niall won’t leave it at that, even though he’s kind of stunned because Zayn has never spoken to him like that before, he just immediately follows the older boy into the kitchen.

“Yeah, you know, surprisingly I gathered that you don’t like Josh all that much.” He says sarcastically before continuing, “But I don’t know why, he’s never done anything to you. And it’s not the only reason I’m pissed with you! You’ve been avoiding me for about a month now Zayn! So I reiterate, what the hell is your problem?!”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.” Zayn tries to say it convincingly, because he didn’t anticipate this coming up when he saw Niall standing outside his door and he’s definitely not prepared for this conversation. His attempt is a little bit of a failure though, because he still has his back turned on Niall in an attempt to shut him out.

“Oh really? Then why don’t you fucking turn around and just look at me for once?!” 

It’s Niall’s tone that makes him follow his order. Because he started the sentence sounding just as angry as he has sounded throughout this whole argument but by the end he just sounds… sad, kind of hopeless and depressed and Zayn never wanted Niall to feel that way, especially not because of him.

So he does what Niall asks and it kind of breaks his heart when he does. The younger boy is just standing there, looking at Zayn with this sad, pleading expression and all traces of anger are gone.

Niall’s lips quirk up on one side, eyes still sad, “There. That’s the first time you’ve properly looked at me in weeks. What did I do Z? Whatever it is, I’m sorry.”

And that, that just kills Zayn and he feels all of the anger that had been coiled up inside of him like a spring sort of drain effortlessly from his body, “No, Niall, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything, it’s all me.”

Niall looks confused for a minute before taking a single step toward Zayn, “What do you mean Zayn? What’s wrong? Why have you been avoiding me for the past month and why do you hate Josh so much?”

Zayn clenches his eyes closed and shakes his head; he’s not ready for this, so in his desperation he says the first thing that comes to mind, “I walked in on you and Josh one day.”

Niall’s eyes widen and he blinks those ocean blue eyes of his a few times, like the surprise Zayn just threw at him was really a fist full of sand and he needed to clear it out. 

“And?”

Zayn’s eyes snap open and he stares at Niall incredulously, “And? And what? Isn’t that enough of a reason to avoid you and punch him when he has his tongue down another person’s throat?”

“Zayn, Josh and I are friends, yeah, we definitely have a few benefits when we tour together and are single, but we’re just good friends.” Niall explains slowly, taking another step toward Zayn.

Zayn just stands there limply, “You’re just friends.”

Niall nods slowly again.

“And as for you walking in on us, you can’t expect me to believe that that really is the only reason you’ve been avoiding me or the only reason you’ve taken to glaring at Josh whenever he’s around, and it’s definitely not the only reason you punched him. You’re not that kind of guy Zayn… were you-” Niall stops abruptly and studies Zayn for a second, only a few feet away from him now and Zayn hasn’t been this close to Niall in a while, it’s exhilarating and terrifying. “Were you jealous Zayn?”

Zayn’s eyes widen in surprise this time and he shakes his head quickly.

Niall narrows his eyes and sighs in disappointment and frustration, “Don’t lie to me Zayn. Just… just tell me why you couldn’t look at me.”

Zayn starts to turn his head away and Niall makes an impatient sound in the back of his throat, “Why couldn’t you look at me?”

Zayn looks at Niall dead on, their eyes locked but he stays silent and Niall’s shoulders drop, almost like he’s given up and he breaks eye contact to look at the ground, “Zayn…”

He begins to say something but just lets it trail off, shaking his head and turning away to start walking toward the door. 

And Zayn, Zayn can’t take that, he knows, knows with absolute certainty despite not knowing anything at all, that if he lets Niall walk away now, he’ll regret it for the rest of his life. 

“It’s because I can’t stand seeing you and knowing you aren’t mine.” 

He doesn’t look up from the ground, but he hears Niall’s footsteps stop. He raises his eyes just to make sure Niall is paying attention and he is. Niall is looking at him now, bright endlessly blue eyes wide and his face relaxed, pink lips slightly parted and he’s just so damn beautiful that Zayn throws away his insecurities and all of his excuses about why he shouldn’t be doing this and decides it’s time to come clean.

“It’s so weird, because before I walked in on you and Josh I never really considered the possibility but... I wasn’t tied down to Perrie anymore and there you were. Maybe it was gradual and maybe it’s been there for as long as I’ve known you but somewhere along the lines I just, started seeing you differently. I began to notice everything about you, random quirks that I had never noticed before and I would start smiling at these small, mundane little things that had never captured my attention. My heartbeat would change depending on how close you were and you completely took over my thoughts. You drive me absolutely insane Niall, in a good way that no one else ever has before. When I walked in on you and Josh, when I actually saw you with someone else, it was like, a cataclysm and I realized all of these things and suddenly I was hopelessly in love with you and had no clue what to do with myself.”

Zayn spoke in a low voice, his eyes never leaving Niall’s for a second. The Irish singer’s eyes were misted over slightly, and Zayn didn’t even notice until he let out a big breath that the other boy hadn’t been breathing throughout his declaration.

Niall let out a breathless little laugh, “You really are an idiot.”

Zayn frowns; that was not what he was expecting Niall to say and he already knew that anyway, Louis reminded him every single day.

Niall smiles softly at Zayn’s frown and walks up to him slowly before coming to a stop less than a few inches away, hands lifting to rest lightly on Zayn’s upper chest and his hands are incredibly warm through the fabric of Zayn’s black t-shirt and he’s pretty sure that the other boy can feel his erratic heartbeat.

His hands naturally find a place on either side of the younger boy’s hips and it makes Niall’s beautiful world famous smile grow and Zayn is filled with a sort of warm pride for putting that expression on his face.

“It’s always been you Zayn. I never, I never said anything because, well because you had Perrie and I’m not that sort of person, but it’s always been you. I’m in love with you too Zayn.”

Niall is looking at him with the most open expression, and he’s absolutely glowing with happiness and excitement and Zayn doesn’t think he’s ever been as beautiful as he is now. 

He leans forward and down and rests his forehead against Niall’s before laughing, “I really am an idiot.”

Niall giggles quietly and nods, Zayn can feel the motion against his forehead and he smiles like he doesn’t know how to stop before moving forward the rest of the way and kissing Niall like he’s wanted to for quite some time now.

And it’s amazing, Niall’s eyes immediately fall shut and his lips are just as soft as Zayn imagined they were and right when their lips meet Niall makes this desperate little noise in his throat that sends a rush of heat through Zayn’s body. 

It’s sweet and innocent until all of sudden it’s not. Niall’s hands clench at Zayn’s t-shirt reflexively before reaching up further to tangle in his signature black and blonde quiff and Zayn’s hands tighten on the blond singer’s hips as his tongue sweeps across Niall’s full bottom lip. 

Niall makes another small whimpering noise and automatically opens his mouth to allow Zayn in, the older boy’s tongue caressing his own before setting out to map out the rest of Niall’s mouth. 

Zayn’s hands slip up and under Niall’s white v neck until he’s rubbing up and down the warm bare skin of Niall’s waist, the younger singer shivers at the sensation and breaks the kiss to moan when Zayn pushes him back and pins him to a counter. 

But Zayn can’t stop himself, he’s been torturing himself needlessly over the past month with thoughts of exactly this thing and there’s no such thing as too fast when it comes to him and Niall, only right and finally. So he just moves his mouth to line Niall’s neck with kisses and nips until the younger boy is gasping. Niall moves his hands to clutch at the material of the back of Zayn’s shirt and pulls at it gently as a suggestion. Zayn takes less than a step back and yanks the material over his hand before throwing it away carelessly, his hands joining Niall’s to repeat the process with the Irish boy’s own shirt.

Once it’s off, Zayn steps back to Niall, warm skin meeting warm skin and the sensation has them both groaning. Niall’s hands return to Zayn’s hair as they kiss, a series of sweet, short pecks until it deepens again, while Zayn’s hands sweep over as much of Niall’s freed pale skin as he can. He runs his hands reverently over the smooth skin of Niall’s waist just to feel the light curve, his fingertips skim the length of Niall’s spine until the younger singer is shaking in his arms and he curls his palms around Niall’s hips, they fit perfectly in his hands and Zayn thinks that it may be his favorite place to hold onto Niall ever.

Sometime during the kiss Niall has lifted his leg and Zayn feels it when he wraps it around his waist. He drops his hands, drags them down over Niall’s ass to the backs of his thighs and lifts until Niall has both legs wrapped around his waist; lower back and hips still pinned against the counter. 

Niall looks down at Zayn tenderly, breathe coming out in pants and runs his hands from his hair, down his neck before smoothing over his shoulders. He smiles again and then lays both hands on either side of Zayn’s face and pulls him forward, lips meeting in a chaste kiss. 

Zayn smiles into the kiss before moving down again, laying kisses on Niall’s jaw line until he reaches the smooth skin just behind his ear where he nips lightly and then sucks hard. 

Niall moans, his hips automatically rutting up into Zayn’s and that’s, yeah, that’s good. Zayn rests his forehead against Niall’s shoulder and pushes his hips forward, groans at the pleasure and the cute little whimper that Niall makes, and repeats the movement.

“Zay-Zayn! We should, we should probably take this oh to your bedroom.” Niall manages to pant out around his moans; Zayn’s still creating that delightful friction with his hips and sucking at all of the pleasure spots his neck possesses. 

But at his statement Zayn stills and looks at him with this intense gleam in his eyes that makes Niall bite his lower lip and physically shiver. Zayn catches the reaction and a small smirk stretches across his lips before he’s kissing Niall again, tightening his grip on the backs of his thighs in warning before pulling away from the counter, taking Niall with him as he walks out of the kitchen and to his bedroom. 

When they finally reach the bedroom, after a few detours against walls, Zayn kneels at the end and lays Niall down gently before standing up and just looking down at him. Niall catches his eyes and gives his own little smirk and the expression is so familiar to Zayn and foreign at the same time because Niall’s pupils are blown wide and he has a seemingly permanent stain of light pink across his pale cheekbones and shoulders. But that’s suddenly not very important because Niall’s hands are caressing down his own body, coming to a stop right above his jeans. 

He undoes the button and the zipper then stops, biting his lip and nodding in Zayn’s direction and Zayn sort of comes out of his trance and realizes that Niall wants Zayn to do it himself. 

So Zayn quickly loses his own jeans and underwear, easier to do while he’s standing as opposed to later, and kneels back down on the edge of the bed, hands resting low on either side of Niall‘s hips with his thumbs hooked in the belt loops and pulls down. The jeans slip off of Niall’s hips and legs a lot easier than Zayn expected them to given that they were so tight and he would focus on that a little more if he wasn‘t distracted by the fact that apparently Niall had decided to forgo underwear for the day. 

He looks up at his Irish beauty sharply but Niall just shrugs and grins and the situation is so distinctly Niall that Zayn just rolls his eyes fondly, laughing softly, “Slut.”

Niall relaxes on the bed and spreads his legs before looking up at Zayn from beneath his eyelashes and saying quietly, “Your slut.”

And fuck, if Zayn wasn’t hard before he most certainly is now. He moves forward to rest between Niall’s spread legs, holding himself up on his forearms as he kisses Niall deep and filthy, his hips resuming their earlier motions and grinding down, making Niall moan into Zayn‘s mouth. 

The older boy reaches out a hand blindly toward his bedside table, feeling around until it closes around a bottle of lube and he’s suddenly glad that he forgot to put that away before he left, much more convenient. 

He pulls away from Niall and absolutely adores the whine he gets for the action. He swoops down to lay a quick chaste kiss on Niall’s lips before pulling away again, unscrewing the lid and going to pour some on his fingers but before he can Niall takes the bottle away, covers his hand in the cool clear fluid and begins to stroke Zayn’s dick.

“Fuck Ni!” Zayn grunts, arms shaking as Niall strokes firmly, fingertips pressing a litter harder along the underside and thumb coming up to circle the head.

“God, baby, unless you- ugh, want to finish this yourself, mmm, you should probably stop.” 

Niall looks up and smiles, giving one more stroke, before pulling his hand away and wiping it off on the bed sheets and Zayn leans down to kiss him hard and passionate. He pushes the bottle of lube at his side off the bed and Zayn frowns.

“Niall-”

“I don’t need stretching, I just, I need you now Zayn, please!” Niall pleads breathlessly, hands clenching at Zayn’s shoulders. 

Zayn nods and moves his hands to grip Niall’s hips, his eyes never moving from Niall’s face as he pushes in slowly. The younger singer’s breath catches, his eyes fluttering shut and hands coming up to clench at the bed sheets by his head. 

Zayn’s gritting his teeth and trying his hardest to stay still because this, this is amazing. Niall is hot and tight around him and Zayn knows that they’ll be doing this a lot if he has any say so.

He wants to move so badly, but he just takes in a shuddering breath and asks, “You okay?”

Niall laughs breathlessly and nods, “I just, you’re a lot bigger than I expected.” 

It’s a few seconds and then Niall opens his eyes slowly, he unclenches his hands and moves them to Zayn’s back and rolls his hips up and moans while Zayn groans.

“Move.” Niall breaths. 

And Zayn does. He keeps his thrusts slow and deep to let Niall adjust a little more, changing his angle until Niall arches his back and gasps, legs coming up to wrap around Zayn’s waist tightly as Zayn thrusts in the same direction, the head of his cock hitting Niall‘s prostate repeatedly. Zayn’s in heaven, he would swear up and down to it on stand if he ever had to, he cherishes every quiet moan and whimper Niall releases and adores how Niall is writhing underneath him.

“Zayn, Zayn, oh please, Zee faster, harder just more, please!” Niall begs as his hips push against Zayn’s.

Zayn groans, head hanging low as he snaps his hips forward, smirking at the extremely whorish moan that’s ripped from Niall’s throat. He dips his head down to bite and suck at a spot on Niall’s throat, suddenly desperate to mark the younger boy, keeping his hard, fast pace as Niall moans and mewls, his fingertips scratching down Zayn’s back and that is probably going to sting like a bitch tomorrow but right now the little bit of pain just adds to the incredible pleasure.

He knows Niall is getting close because he’s making those little ah-ah-ahs that keep rising in pitch. So Zayn releases one of Niall’s hips and starts stroking Niall’s cock, the added pleasure sending the younger boy over the edge.

“Oh god, Zayn, uhn, Zayn!!!” Niall screams as he comes, the sound of Niall screaming his name combined with Niall’s muscles contracting around him forcing Zayn to follow. 

Zayn pants and looks down at the blond singer. Niall is gasping, his lips swollen, red and wet, the blush across his cheekbones a dark pink, blond hair damp and mused. He opens his glowing blue eyes and smiles at Zayn, “Wow.”

Zayn smiles back at him, ducking his head to kiss Niall, “Yeah.”

He pulls out of Niall slowly, the younger boy whimpering softly, before collapsing on to his back, his arms pulling Niall into his side. Niall lays his head on Zayn’s chest, listening to his heart beat before pressing a soft kiss the skin, “I love you Zaynie.”

Zayn’s smile widens and he squeezes his arms around Niall softly, kissing the younger boy’s hair, “I love you too Nialler.”

Niall yawns sleepily, snuggling into Zayn’s side as the older boy pulls the cover over them both, “You still have to apologize to Josh for punching him, I’m pretty sure he’s absolutely terrified of you now, you big meanie.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and laughs, “Go to sleep Niall.”

~

It’s a few hours later when Zayn’s phone goes off. Niall is sprawled on top of him, one leg flung across his hips, head resting on his chest, and one hand resting on Zayn’s opposite shoulder. 

Zayn really does not want to answer it, just wants to go back to sleep but the phone is pretty loud and he doesn’t want to wake Niall up. So he grabs it off the bedside table, careful not to move too much, and answers when he sees it’s Louis.

“Hello?” Zayn says quietly, voice gravelly with sleep and the effort to keep his voice down.

“You done being an idiot yet?” He hears Louis ask, and there are other lower voices over the phone, a few he definitely recognizes as Liam and Harry.

“Yeah, I’m done being an idiot Louis.” As soon as he says it there’s cheering coming through the phone and he rolls his eyes at his friends even though they can’t see him.

“Good, it’s about fucking time man. But fair warning, if you hurt our special little snowflake, I’m going to cut your cock off while you sleep.” Louis says cheerfully.

Zayn laughs quietly and looks at the boy sleeping on his chest, “Fair enough Lou. See you guys tomorrow.”

He hangs up before Louis gets a chance to say anything else, throws his phone off the bed and wraps his arms around Niall again.

Zayn Malik really loves his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think dolls :)


End file.
